If you know Bill this will be even funnier … if you do not know Bill .. you are about to meet him.
Bill has been doing my yard work out on the farm. In his rush to get the yard mowed he throws the tractor in third gear and tries to pull a Amish Speed Racer or something. He don’t know my yard that well yet and he isn’t the quickest thinker either. But for all it’s worth I was damn thankful it was Bill out there in the 90 degree sun getting the yard cut. The grass got behind while the tractor was broke down and was nearly knee high in spots.
So it’s early in the afternoon and I am on the phone talking business when I hear him holler something, I figure he is yelling at Devin to move a toy or get out of the way. I glance out the side door and do not see anything and walk back to the office, phone on ear, and sit down in front of the fan.
From my office window I can see, Vickie up by her house talking to a neighbor who had stopped by. As I am sitting there smoking a cigg movement in the yard catches my eye. I look up in time to see Vickie, the neighbor and Devin all running down the hill with very worried expressions on their faces.
In a split second I remember that holler I heard earlier and I think .. wait a second, I do not hear the tractor running.
My heart skips a beat as I run to the back door in the direction of everyone else.
As I get to the door way, I can see tire tracks on the fresh wet cut grass and muddy ruts leading to the edge of the hill. On the other side of this drop off is a very steep 30 yard drop.
That’s when the top of Devins’ head flew open and he started to scream bloody murder. All sorts of terribly gruesome images went through my head of the damage that mower could do if it hit a person .. and I couldn’t see over that edge of that hill. Vickie and the neighbor start down over the hill and I run to Devin to try and sooth his shrieks of terror.
Devin clutches on to me .. sobbing uncontrollably and then he says it …
he says ——– Oh no no no no …… he broke our tractor ..I love that tractor!
I looked down the hill and the tractor was just 10 foot from the top leading against a tree, Bill had got flung off on down the hill and was walking back up the hill grumbling about all the thorns and burrs down the path he had been tossed.
Vickie almost called an ambulance, but it wasn’tt for Bill, it was for me from laughing so hard.
Bill was happy the tree saved his life, Devin was happy that the tractor wasn’t broke and I am just happy that it didn’t happen to me ..
So my funny little story comes to a happy ending on the Do Duh’ Ranch!